The hospital wants to discharge your parent. What now?

Most families do not plan a move into senior living. They get a phone call from a hospital, and a discharge planner tells them that their parent cannot safely go home. Often there are two or three days to sort it out.

That pressure is the enemy of a good decision. This is how to move quickly without choosing badly.

First, slow the clock down by a day if you can

You are allowed to ask questions, and you are allowed to disagree.

• Ask for the discharge to be reassessed if you genuinely do not have a safe place for your parent to go. Hospitals have a duty to discharge to a safe setting.
• Ask whether your parent qualifies for a short rehabilitation stay in a skilled nursing facility first. Medicare often pays for this after a qualifying hospital admission, and it buys you two or three weeks to make the bigger decision properly rather than overnight.
• If you are told no, ask why in writing, and ask about the appeal process.

A rehabilitation stay is not a defeat. It is the single most useful thing a family can get in this situation, because it converts a two-day decision into a two-week one.

Get four pieces of information before you look at any community

You cannot judge a community without these, and asking for them costs nothing.

1. What level of care does your parent actually need now? Ask the hospital's physical therapist and nurse directly, not just the discharge planner. Can they walk? Transfer from bed to chair alone? Manage the toilet? Take medication reliably?
2. The medication list, current as of today.
3. Whether there are any behaviors a community needs to know about — confusion at night, wandering, resistance to personal care. Communities will find out anyway, and a placement that hides this fails within two weeks.
4. Whether a doctor has documented a dementia diagnosis. It changes which communities can accept them.

Understand what the hospital's list is, and is not

The list of names a discharge planner hands you is not a recommendation. Hospitals generally cannot recommend, so they give you everyone nearby. It will include communities that cannot take your parent's level of care, communities with no rooms, and communities you would not choose if you saw them.

Call and ask two questions before you get in the car: do you have a room available this week, and can you take someone who needs (whatever your parent needs). That eliminates most of the list in twenty minutes.

The money question, early rather than late

Ask each community for the monthly price at your parent's care level, not the starting price. The gap between the two is often $1,500 a month or more.

If money is tight, ask directly: are you Medicaid-certified? In Colorado a residence certified as an Alternative Care Facility can accept Health First Colorado once someone qualifies. If the answer is no, and private funds will run out in a year, you are looking at a second move later — which is worth avoiding now.

What families get wrong under pressure

• Choosing the closest community rather than the right one. Fifteen extra minutes in the car matters far less than a community that can still care for your parent in a year.
• Not asking what happens when needs increase. Ask what would make them say your parent has to move on.
• Signing without reading the notice period. Ask how much notice is required to leave, and what happens to any deposit.
• Not looking at the state inspection record. Colorado publishes inspection findings for every licensed community. It takes five minutes.

Where we fit

This is exactly the situation we exist for. An advisor will work out the level of care, tell you which communities near you can genuinely take your parent this week, come with you on the tours, and help with the admission paperwork. It costs your family nothing — we are paid by the community you choose, and you are never obliged to choose one we suggest.

If you are in this position today, tell us where you are and we will call you.