21 questions to ask on a senior living tour

A tour is a sales visit. You will be shown a clean apartment, offered a coffee, and told about the activities calendar. None of that tells you what a Tuesday in February is like for someone who lives there.

Take this list. Ask the awkward ones.

Staffing — the questions that matter most

1. How many care staff are on duty right now, for how many residents?
2. How many are on duty overnight, and are any of them awake all night?
3. Is there a nurse on site, and at what hours?
4. What is your staff turnover in the last year?
5. What happens when someone calls in sick — who covers?

Staffing is the single biggest determinant of whether care is good. A community that answers these precisely is usually a community that is proud of the answer.

Care, and what happens as needs grow

1. How do you assess care levels, and what level would my parent be at today?
2. What exactly does that level include, and what costs extra?
3. What would make you say my parent needs to move somewhere else?
4. How do you handle a resident who becomes confused or distressed at night?
5. Who gives out medication, and what training have they had?
6. How quickly can care be increased if my parent declines?

Question 8 is the one families forget, and it is the one that causes a second move a year later.

Money

1. What is the total monthly cost at my parent's care level, all in?
2. Is there a community fee or deposit, and is any of it refundable?
3. How often do prices rise, by how much in the last three years?
4. How much notice do you give before a price increase?
5. Are you Medicaid-certified, and what happens if private funds run out?

Ask for the last three years of increases specifically. "We review annually" is not an answer.

Day-to-day life

1. May I eat a meal here?
2. What happens on a weekend — who runs activities on a Sunday?
3. Can my parent bring their own furniture? A pet?
4. How do you keep families informed when something changes?

Eat the food. It tells you more about a community's standards than anything on a brochure.

The last question

1. May I see your most recent state inspection report?

Every licensed community in Colorado is inspected, and the findings are public. A community that hesitates at this question has told you something. One that hands it over and explains what they fixed has told you something better.

Two things to do that are not questions

Visit twice, once unannounced. Mid-morning on a weekday, and again about six in the evening. Evening staffing is thinner everywhere; you want to see how thin.

Watch the staff with the residents who are not part of your tour. Do they use people's names? Does anyone look ignored? That is the community your parent will live in.

If this feels like a lot

It is, and you are doing it while worrying about your parent. An advisor does this for a living — we tour with families, ask these questions on their behalf, and tell them what we saw. It is free to your family. Ask an advisor to call you.